Garden Dreamer

Dear Henrietta,

I’ve always dreamed of having a garden with flowers and veggies, but I have no idea where to start.  I’ve tried to grow orchids in my house and I always kill them. My Mama said every spring I should start a veggie garden but I don’t have any tools and I don’t know where to plant the garden for the light in my yard.  Can you help?

Signed,

Garden Dreamer

Dear Garden Dreamer,

Here’s my best advice:

1. Go to the local hardware store and buy plants, gloves, tools, fertilizers, pesticides, etc.  Enjoy watching a few of the plants thrive.  Then watch the rest of your treasures die or get eaten by deer.  If your yard is like mine, deer are everywhere.  Chase them around your yard armed with a spatula.  Welcome to NC.    

2. Find a neighbor that is a master gardener and tap into their mad skills.  Ask for help.  Take months pruning, trimming, managing all the things in your unidentifiable yard, and when they beat you down with all the details of what you are doing wrong, just quit. Quit, my friend.  You will never get this right.  

3. Skip steps 1 and 2, and remember what you wanted in the first place:  organic veggies and flowers.  Then drive your sensible self to the farmers market and buy everything you ever dreamed of while supporting the local economy.  Do you love honey?  Would you really go and raise some bees?  Chances are, the answer is a hard no.  Just go and buy it from some local folks who have already done the heavy lifting.  

I hope this helps and remember:  Gardeners know all the best DIRT!

Love,

Henrietta

Henrietta Craven was born and raised in New Bern and enjoys gardening, hunting bears and improvisational dance.  She is a self-proclaimed expert on a wide variety of subjects including (but not limited to) fashion, mixology, and cooking.  Henrietta resides in a lovely Victorian home in downtown New Bern with her five cats: Graffenreid, Bethune, Devereux, Stanton and Carraway. 

If you have a problem, and would like Henrietta to give you some of her home-grown advice, please send a note to:  henrietta@newbernmagazine.com.

Disclaimer:  keep in mind that Henrietta’s advice should be taken lightheartedly, with a sense of humor, and then ignored.