13 Signs You Should Stop Being a Pirate Comedy

September 4 & 11 • 3pm
September 9 & 10 • 7:30pm

Shiver me timbers! The Old Theater is gathering a motley crew of local talent to perform this swashbuckling new comedy. The dastardliest crew on the high seas is horrified when Jaime starts to question the pirate’s life. Helping people? Putting a unicorn on their flag? Dabbling in Buddhism? What could be worse?! The pirates must set their shipmate straight before it’s too late, but the sea is full of distracting swordfights and manatees that look like mermaids. A goofy celebration of the arrrrt of being a pirate for crews of all sizes.

General Admission: $20. $15 for members, military, and students. Available at Nautical Wheelers in Oriental and New Bern or online. Beverages provided by donation.